If you are preparing for a divorce, you should be prepared to encounter disagreements along the way. Even when divorcing spouses are generally in agreement regarding the major issues involved in their divorce (i.e., how to divide parenting time and who should keep the family home), they are still likely to have various differences of opinion during the divorce process.

Being prepared to encounter disagreements during your divorce starts with knowing about the options that are available to resolve them. So, how can you resolve disagreements with your spouse during your divorce?

4 Options for Resolving Disagreements Between Spouses During a Divorce in Illinois

Broadly speaking, there are four main options for resolving disagreements between spouses during a divorce in Illinois. These four main options are: (i) informal negotiations, (ii) divorce mediation, (iii) collaborative law divorce, and (iv) divorce litigation.

Option #1: Informal Negotiations

In many cases—in fact, in the majority of cases—divorcing spouses will be able to resolve their disagreements through informal negotiations. During this process, it is important for each spouse to be represented by his or her own divorce attorney. There are a couple of key reasons why:

  • Each spouse’s attorney will be able to provide legal advice that is focused on that spouse’s interests (including his or her interest in achieving an amicable resolution); and,
  • The spouses’ attorneys will be able to help keep the negotiations organized and on track, and will be able to suggest potential compromises that are likely to work for both parties.

While hiring attorneys to negotiate the terms of your divorce might sound intense, it really isn’t. This is how most divorces are handled. By hiring an attorney to represent you, you can avoid overlooking important issues you need to address; and, if you and your spouse are struggling to come to terms, you can rely on your attorney’s advice to evaluate your other options.

With that said, when negotiating the terms of your divorce, it is important to be able to identify when you have truly reached an impasse. While there are other options—and while these options will be necessary in some cases—these options involve additional costs. As a result, you shouldn’t pursue them unless they are truly needed. Here too, your attorney will be able to guide you through the decision-making process.

There are a variety of ways to structure divorce negotiations, and you and your spouse can agree to more or less structure depending on what you need. Ultimately, with an informed approach and a mutual commitment to reaching an amicable resolution, there is a good chance that you and your spouse will be able to find a way to come to terms.

Option #2: Divorce Mediation

If you and your spouse are unable to come to terms on any of the issues you need to address during your divorce, you may need to consider divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation involves working with a neutral third party. However, unlike a judge, this neutral third party (the mediator) does not make any binding decisions. Instead, the mediator’s role is that of a facilitator. The mediator will help ensure that you and your spouse (and your respective attorneys) are talking to each other rather than talking through each other, and the mediator will be able to offer potential compromise solutions as well.

Divorcing spouses can also choose to pursue mediation from the outset. If your divorce is particularly complex (or if it is clear that you and your spouse will struggle to have productive conversations on your own), then pursuing mediation from the outset could be a good option. In this scenario, you and your spouse will use mediation to address all of the issues involved in your divorce, with the goal of reaching a comprehensive agreement that allows you both to move on.

Option #3: Collaborative Law Divorce

A third option is to use the collaborative law divorce process. As its name suggests, the collaborative law divorce process involves collaboration between the spouses and their respective attorneys. But, a key aspect of the process is that it involves collaboration with other professionals as well.

In a collaborative law divorce, the spouses work with financial planners, appraisers, child psychologists, social workers, and other professionals as necessary to ensure that they are making informed decisions focused on the future. While this won’t be necessary in every divorce, when it is necessary, it can be a highly effective way of reaching an all-encompassing and amicable resolution.

Due to the additional costs involved, a collaborative law divorce will most often make sense when spouses have substantial assets that they need to distribute between themselves during the divorce process. But, it can make sense in other circumstances as well; and, if you are preparing for a divorce, it is important to give due consideration to all of the options you have available.

Option #4: Divorce Litigation

The final option is divorce litigation. For most couples, this is truly a means of last resort. If you and your spouse have exhausted all other options (or if targeting an amicable resolution is a non-starter), then pursuing divorce litigation may be necessary in order to bring your marriage to an end.

Litigating your divorce involves going to court; and, at the end of the litigation process, the judge will decide how you and your spouse should split your property, post-divorce income, and parenting rights. Since this inherently adds uncertainty to the process, even when divorcing spouses are completely at odds, they will often at least have a shared interest in trying to find a different path forward.

Learn More from Gurnee, IL Divorce Attorney Deanna J. Bowen

Do you have questions about how to approach your divorce in Illinois? If so, we encourage you to contact us for more information. To schedule a confidential initial consultation with Gurnee divorce attorney Deanna J. Bowen, please call 847-306-3204 or tell us how we can reach you online today.