While there are several important considerations involved in going through a divorce under any circumstances, there are even more important considerations involved in going through a divorce as a parent. If you have minor children from your marriage, you will need to make several important child-related decisions during the divorce process—and these decisions will impact your life (and your children’s lives) for years to come.

With this in mind, informed decision-making is essential. As a parent, you need to be confident in all of the decisions you make during the divorce process. By ensuring that you make informed decisions based on a clear understanding of all of the options you have available, you can move forward after your divorce without wondering what might have been.

How Parents in Illinois Can Make Sure They Are Prepared for the Divorce Process

So, what do you need to know—and what do you need to do—if you are preparing to go through a divorce as a parent? Here are seven tips for Illinois parents who are just starting to navigate the divorce process:

1. Understand that Both Parents Start on a Level Playing Field

In Illinois, both parents start the divorce process on a level playing field. Illinois law does not inherently favor either parent—to the contrary, it makes clear that, “[i]t is presumed both parents are fit and the court shall not place any restrictions on parenting time . . . unless it finds by a preponderance of the evidence that a parent’s exercise of parenting time would seriously endanger the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health.”

This means that mothers and fathers generally have the same rights and the same opportunities during the divorce process. By keeping this in mind, divorcing parents can frame their thoughts appropriately, set reasonable expectations, and focus on developing a post-divorce parenting plan that reasonably satisfies everyone’s wants and needs.

2. Read and Carefully Consider Illinois’s “Best Interests” Factors

Rather than prioritizing one parent over the other, Illinois’s child custody laws focus on what is best for the children involved. When going through a divorce, parents must consider the state’s “best interests” factors—and they must apply these factors to their unique family circumstances.

Given the importance of the “best interests” factors during the divorce process, parents who are contemplating a divorce should review these factors and think carefully about how they might apply under the circumstances at hand. Take notes, write down any questions that come to mind, and pay particular attention to any factors that you think might lead to disagreements with your spouse.

3. Focus on Realistic Post-Divorce Possibilities

Recognizing that Illinois law does not favor either parent, it is important for both parents to focus on realistic possibilities when it comes to post-divorce parenting time. Except in extremely rare circumstances, neither parent will get full custody. In order to come to terms during the divorce process, both parents need to be willing to consider reasonable alternatives, and they need to be willing to compromise when they can do so without compromising their children’s best interests or their own legal rights.

4. Don’t Overlook Creative and Flexible Alternatives to Traditional Custody Arrangements

Importantly, focusing on realistic post-divorce possibilities does not mean sticking to rigid ideas about custody and visitation time. Traditional custody-and-visitation arrangements are far less common than they used to be, and parents today have a variety of options when it comes to developing a post-divorce parenting plan that works for them while also serving their children’s best interests.

Co-parenting is one example of a non-traditional post-divorce parenting arrangement that has grown in popularity in recent years. With co-parenting, each parent has separate parenting time, but the parents also continue to jointly participate in their children’s lives. While this obviously isn’t the right choice for everyone, it is one example of the many flexible alternatives that are available to parents who are willing to work together during the divorce process.

5. Think About Your Spouse’s Needs and Priorities Equally with Your Own

When preparing for a divorce, it is easy to focus on your personal wants and needs, and it is important to do so. But it is important to consider your spouse’s wants and needs as well. By anticipating your spouse’s goals during the divorce process—with regard to parenting time in particular—you can ensure that you are prepared to tactfully approach difficult conversations and make informed decisions about where you are (and aren’t) prepared to compromise.

6. Think About the Child-Related, Property-Related, and Financial Aspects of Your Divorce Together

While developing a parenting plan is one of the most important aspects of the divorce process for parents who have minor children from their marriage, there are other extremely important aspects as well. When thinking about parenting time, it is also important to think about things like:

  • Do you want to keep living in the family home after your divorce?
  • Which other assets do you want to keep?
  • Do you want to use your divorce as an opportunity to set aside money for college?
  • How much will you need to seek (or pay) in child support?
  • How much will you need to seek (or pay) in alimony?

By thinking about these aspects of the divorce process together, you can make sure you are not overlooking any important practical considerations. Although this can seem overwhelming at first, an experienced divorce lawyer can help you take a systematic and organized approach, and this can ultimately be the most efficient way to tackle the divorce process in the end.

7. Start Working with an Experienced Divorce Lawyer Before You Formally Start the Divorce Process

In light of all of the various factors you need to consider, it is best to start working with an experienced divorce lawyer before you formally start the divorce process. An experienced lawyer will be able to help you plan, organize, and think critically about what matters most. Your lawyer can also help you consider options you might not have considered on your own, and your lawyer can help ensure that you are as prepared as possible when you decide to move forward.

Schedule a Free, No-Obligation Consultation with Gurnee, IL Divorce Lawyer Deanna J. Bowen

Deanna J. Bowen is an experienced Gurnee, IL divorce lawyer who helps parents make informed decisions before, during, and after the divorce process. To schedule a free, no-obligation consultation, call 847-623-4002 or request an appointment online today.